It Is Never Too Late To Say I Love You

Love Cloud

When Frank went into a nursing home his family—my very dear friends—asked me to help with his transition. I was happy to do so and have always loved spending time with elderly people. Unfortunately, Frank was not a happy man. He was sick and had a terrible disposition. Needless to say, being with him was challenging, but I tried my best to settle him into two nursing homes and then finally, Hospice. We spent a few hours a week together for almost seven months. On his last day, Frank lied in a semi-coma while the family gathered around his bed, sharing childhood memories. You could say Frank was not the type of man who could look back on life without regrets. Irrespective of what he had done in his past though, the family wanted him to die with dignity. That night he slipped further away, never waking up again…or so we thought.

Two days later and only an hour before his wake, and I was stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway desperately trying to make it to the funeral parlor on time. While trying to find openings I could weave my car in and out of, strange, musical thoughts were filling my head. They came in with certain consistency, and at first, I was so preoccupied with driving, the significance of what I was hearing wasn’t registering. Within a few minutes, I couldn’t dismiss the urgency of the message that was coming through. My skin broke out in goose bumps as I sensed a familiar presence. It was Frank.

Now, I am no John Edwards, but I am highly sensitive to energy, and when a soul passes on, it has been my experience that their energy stays the same. Since my father’s death in 1991, I have heard from a few loved ones, and basically, they have dictated their sentiments to me. Many people don’t know that my writing career started with my dad’s eulogy. This was only the sixth time it happened since then, but the sensation in my gut was unmistakable. Since I couldn’t pull over, I grabbed a pen from the cup holder and scanned the front seat for some sort of paper to write on. The car was barely rolling in traffic, but I was still having trouble putting all the words down as eloquently as they were being said. Frank was rattling off faster than I could write, and I will swear to this day that the best parts of his dictation were missed.

Letter

By the time I reached the funeral home, most of Frank’s message was scribbled all over the back of an envelope. I unscrambled a few words to make it more legible and recited it at the small ceremony his nephew arranged for him. The family, who has known me for years, never doubted it was Uncle Frank coming through. They were moved by the emotion and there was clearly a healing being offered through his this letter. It proved to me once again that it is never too late to love, to forgive, or to be forgiven. Frank chose me, his human “head” as he puts it, to deliver his message, and because of the love I had for his family, I embraced it. He gifted me that day and validated what I have always known; that even without ears, or voices, or eyes to see, we can communicate with one another. Whether we are “present” or not, soul to soul we share love, and that is the energy that stays with us always.

Frank’s Letter March 14, 2008

This is not a sad day for me so don’t feel depressed.
I’ve left my prison and have risen to a new place of rest.

The minute I got here, the secret of life was explained.
I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you before I left your domain.

So instead I will fill this head you see before you with a short story.
I will have her tell you how I’m now living in God’s lasting glory.

Understand that when I was there with you, I took all I was given for granted.
My view of the world was crooked, sometimes bent and mostly slanted.

But now that I’m here and basking in this beautiful light,
I believe this is where I need to be; this is my new home; this feels so incredibly right.

Now I need to give some advice, some wisdom and clarity from beyond my old skin.
You must always appreciate what you have in this life, most especially what you have been given.

Love your sister, your brother, your parents, your children and your life.
Don’t misuse what you have and live as I did, in strife.

Don’t mistake what you feel, and touch, and see.
It’s not about things or money; take it from me.

I wish I knew yesterday what I now know today,
That life is about loving, giving and living in harmony.

Don’t take your life or family for granted;
Live in goodness, love in joy and give of your heart.
Do it willingly, do it now, do it before you depart.

Last and not least, I want you to know, I love you and I am sorry that I had to go.
But even though my form would not allow me to stay, I promise to be here, to bless you all, each and every day.